Lesbian Book Review: The Price of Salt

I had The Price of Salt on my reading list for a while but thought that because it was older (published in 1952), that it could wait. However, I discovered recently that not only has it been put back in print, but that it's going to be made into a movie. Begin swooning because this lesbian movie will star two great australian actresses, Mia Wasikowska, and the amazing Cate Blanchett.

The image of Cate Blanchett dressed in a vintage Chanel suit  longing for female affection became a very happy one for me and certainly steered my imagination as I began reading this book. But we don't meet the lovely Carol (Cate's role) until later on.

The story begins with Therese, a woman in her young twenties. Therese is an orphan who recently left the convent for New York City with aspirations of becoming a theatre set designer. She is half-dating a guy who seems to think they should eventually marry, although she acknowledges that something is missing in their relationship. She is kindly navigating through life and learning from the encounters she has with people at her new job in a department store.

Enter Carol, an affluent mother from the suburbs who's come into the department store to buy a doll for her young daughter. Therese's infatuation with Carol is immediate. She is stunned by this beautiful woman and after helping her select the perfect doll is overwhelmed by the meeting. After taking down Carol's address to send the doll, she decides to send her a Christmas card as well. Carol, upon receiving the card, calls on Therese and asks to meet for a drink.

We soon learn that Carol is going through a messy divorce and custody battle with her husband Harge. This battle grows as does Carol and Therese's relationship. Soon they are taking a cross country road trip in Carol's car and sharing their feelings (and bodies) with each other. As they travel west they soon realize that they are being followed, and have been for some time. Harge has hired a private investigator to tap their hotel rooms and document their every move. He is attempting to prove in this custody case that Carol is a homosexual and therefore unfit to be a mother (remember it's 1952).

The significance of this book lies in that very battle. In most states today your sexual orientation is explicitly not an issue in a custody battle. That being said if your ex-husband wants to fight you tooth and nail and you happen to get a biased judge then you could have some trouble. But imagine being Carol, a woman who has recently come out to herself and the woman she loves but is also forced into a choice between her child or Therese. I am extremely grateful for progress.

When this book was first published in 1952 it was done so under the pseudonym Claire Morgan. The real name of the author is Patricia Highsmith, author of The Talented Mr. Ripley and Strangers on a Train. Highsmith herself was bisexual and her lesbian relationship with writer Marijane Meaker was written about by Meaker in Highsmith: A Romance of the 1950s (now on my reading list). The Price of Salt also became famous for being the first lesbian pulp novel to have a happy ending. Read it for yourself to see if you agree..... or just wait for the movie.

What to Wear to Your Lesbian Wedding

Once engaged to another lady, the first question that seems to come up from others is the following:

"Are you both wearing dresses??"

For some, the thought of being dressed in a frilly gown and paraded in front of everyone they know is simply not ever going to be a reality. Many of you would much rather get a swanky pants suit or some dapper vest/suit combo, wear some Chucks and stay comfortable. However, regardless of whether you're a pants lady or a dress lady, you still have to figure out what exactly you're going to wear to your own wedding. You also have to figure out what your bride-to-be is going to wear so that you can stand in front of everyone and loving glances and heart felt vows aside, look like you were made to be with one another.

The best way to do this is to go with a matching color scheme. This color scheme can be present in the actual clothing itself, or you can use the bouquet(s) and/or boutonnieres to bring it all together.

A color scheme is a good idea in general anyway, especially if you're a matchy-matchy type. Everything can match; from your clothes and invitations to your decorations.

If you want to stick with the classic white or ivory that's great too. But be careful because there is a wide variety of shades and fabrics considered white or ivory. Try to find the same shade or something close to what your future wife will be wearing. Choose clothing that best fits your personality. Don't worry about matching the style, the simplicity of the color leaves room for variation, and the bouquet(s) can give a nice pop of color.

If you both like the same kind of clothing and fit well into the same style then you'll look very symmetrical up at the altar. 

Or... you can play with opposite colors OR the exact same clothing if you want.

There are many possible combinations out there. Before you really start shopping consider the following: What style(s) flatter my body type? Do those styles fit my personality? How much money can I spend on clothing? What is the weather going to be like during the wedding? Do I need to be able to dance in this outfit?

I am embarrassed to admit how many hours I spent browsing wedding dresses online, but I will tell you that all of the ads on my Facebook page were suddenly wedding oriented. Before you head out to a bridal boutique get a good idea of what you're looking for, and what you may be able to get it for, it will make the whole experience a lot easier.

Another thing that my partner and I did was to go with each other to a David's Bridal just to browse and get an idea of what styles of dresses we liked best on ourselves. A word of warning though; although same sex marriage is becoming more prevalent, the majority of bridal store customers are still straight women and that's what they're used to. So, unless you walk in holding hands be prepared for "oh, you're sisters!" or "best friends getting married on the same day!" or "a joint wedding!" and then also be prepared to explain to the salesperson that you are gay and watch as their face becomes red and paralyzed and they excuse themselves to go and whisper it to all of the other employees in the store. This is a true story, and it happened even after we filled out all the paperwork which clearly stated we were marrying each other.

Once we had a good idea of the styles and color(s) we wanted the serious shopping began. I browsed the used wedding dresses at Once Wed, PreOwned Wedding Dresses, and Recycled Bride. I ordered a few to try on from Bloomingdales and JCrew before settling on a dress I found on eBay for $99. (I can't pass up a good deal). My partner found her dress at a local boutique here in Denver called The Bridal Collection for about $1000, and was happy with her dress and the service she received. We did our actual shopping separately and didn't see each other in our dresses until the day of the wedding, something I highly recommend.

Keep Swimming Diana Nyad

As I write this there is a 62 year old lesbian swimming in the middle of the ocean on her way to Florida from Cuba. She volunteered to jump in against the gulf stream, amidst sharks and jellyfish, with a great void of ocean in front of her. She is not an immigrant trying to make her way to America, but she is a woman with a dream.

At the age of 60 Diana Nyad found herself looking for something but overwhelmed with regret. She was single after separating from a woman she called the love of her life, both of her parents had died and she realized that life had flown by and she wondered what she had to show for it.

"I wasn't going to adopt a child, but I knew I needed something of that order. Something that would require everything in me. No time for neurotic meanderings about the past, no luxury of that. Got to be my best self."

Photograph by the great Catherine Opie (look at those jellyfish scars!)

This is not the first time Diana Nyad has attempted this swim, it is her fourth. But, with the assistance of a team of experts, an armada of support boats and her best friend and handler Bonnie Stoll at her side, she is now successfully 40 miles into her 103 mile trip. Back in 1979 she successfully swam 102.5 miles from Bimini to Florida, but those were much easier - not easy, what is easy about swimming 102.5 miles? However, the 103 miles to Florida from Cuba are rough, and full of sharks and jellyfish.  It was the box jellyfish that did her in on her last attempt, and you can hear more about her amazing story in her TED talk below:

So far Diana has encounter a few jellyfish on this swim and received some stings on her hands and face. With the help of a special jellyfish suit hopefully she can persevere. You can follow her progress on her blog http://www.diananyad.com/blog or follow her on Twitter @diananyad.

If she continues, at some point tomorrow she will reach Florida, and then the next day she will turn 63. She is a female hero, defying the odds, the stereotypes, and the jellyfish. In the iconic words of Dory the fish, just keep swimming Diana, I can't wait to cheer for you when you get there.

UPDATE: 8/21/12 Early this morning Diana was pulled from the water amidst another big storm. After swimming for 41 hours and 45 minutes she was closer to her goal than ever before. However, with the extreme conditions and with stern advice from her team she didn't get back in the water.

Lesbian Film Review: Circumstance

Circumstance is an intense and powerful film about two teenage girls in Tehran, Iran. Shireen played by the ridiculously beautiful Sarah Kazemy, and Atafeh played expertly by Nikohl Boosheri are teenagers in love. On the outside their friendship is exceptionally close but the physical aspects of the relationship are kept behind closed doors, as is much of their life.

Atafeh belongs to a wealthy, liberal family. Shireen is an orphan of sorts, living with her aunt because both of her parents were killed for opposing the revolution. Atafeh and Shireen are at times your typical rebellious teens involved in drinking, drugs, illicit parties, sex and Western music and films. However, never do you forget that they are in Iran where every aspect of their lives is controlled by the state.

From what they wear, to how they behave, every character is under the thumb of surveillance. Shireen and Atafeh are literally being watched by Atafeh's older brother Mehran. He is a born again religious fundamentalist who will go to any lengths to preserve his forming ideals of morality.

Where I believe this film excels is in the honesty of the circumstances of a teenage, homosexual life in Iran; it just isn't allowed. The film itself had to be filmed outside of Iran, in Lebanon. The filming was under threat of being shut down and all of the actors and filmmakers had to come to terms with being exiled from Iran simply for participating in this project.

The acting is also exceptionally strong. There is so much that each character says by not saying anything or saying little. There is an inner dialogue that comes across beautifully through single glances or a hard stare. In a world where it is not safe to openly and honestly express your feelings, much of what is said to each other never gets spoken aloud.

Where this film lacks however seems to be in the connection between Shireen and Atafeh. Never did I  doubt that they are close friends, but the intense, scary and new feelings that are present in any teenage romance are missing. There seems to be no danger within the relationship itself, only in the circumstances surrounding the relationship. As a result the sexual content feels put on, or practiced. When they talk about running away to Dubai I never believe for a second that their hearts are in it together. The outside circumstances that control their relationship are the focus and well understood by the end of the film. Although I wished for more from the individual characters, this film does a great job in giving us an honest glimpse into the life of an Iranian teen.