Lesbian Film Review: Edie and Thea: A Very Long Engagement

I must admit that I have watched this film more times than I can count. It is wonderful; incredibly charming, educational and heart wrenching. I bought it for my wife before we were married. Edie and Thea's story has a special place in our hearts and hence this review is really not a review but genuine praise for a documentary of two extraordinary ladies and their love for one another.

The film begins with Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer, two elderly ladies casually presenting their life together through a slide show of old vacation photos, party pictures, and elegant snap shots of the two women together.

In their own words Edie and Thea recount their relationships with their families, careers, and most importantly, each other. Photos of these two gorgeous women slide by one after another as we hear how they met and danced holes in their stockings at the Portofino, an underground Lesbian bar; how Edie begged her way to the Hamptons for a chance meeting with Thea, and how they fell in love. In 1967 Thea proposed to Edie with a circular diamond pin (because a ring would draw unwanted attention). Their engagement lasted for forty years, and during that time they just kept on dancing. At age 45, Thea was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis but that didn't slow them down. When Thea was confined to a wheel chair they threw a "just married" sign on the back and dressed up as newlyweds for Halloween. They kept on dancing with Edie sitting on Thea's lap as she drove her motorized wheelchair around the dance floor.

In 2005 same sex marriage became legal in Canada. In 2007 Thea's doctors told her she only had a year left to live. Edie and Thea decided it was time and the film follows them as they pack up Thea's medical equipment and make the trip to Canada to be married. The two women are teary eyed and smiling as Harvey Brownstone, Canada's first openly gay judge pronounces them "spouses for life." One of my favorite moments of this beautiful film, besides almost all of it, is the speech that Edie gives upon returning to New York. We see in Edie, this tiny, older woman a new strength and determination as she shares the following:

"Thea looks at her ring everyday and thinks of herself as officially a member of a special species who can love and couple until death do them part. The word marriage itself conveys clearly that you and your spouse love each other and are united and belong together. It represents the ultimate expression of love and commitment between two people. And everyone understands that, in the whole world everyone understands that."

In our happiness for their new married life together we are reminded of how ill Thea is. The film follows Edie through her nighttime routine as Thea's care giver, tucking her in, connecting breathing tubes, and kissing her goodnight. We see them chatting poolside after Thea has been lifted out and sat on a chair with a towel around her shoulders. They talk about the end, how long they've lasted and how important it is to not postpone joy. Their admiration for each other is clear and no matter how many times I've seen this documentary I cry every time it comes to an end.

**Two years later, Thea died and Edie suffered a heart attack in her grief. Edie's personal tragedy is now a public issue. Even though the state of New York recognized the couples marriage, DOMA (The Defense Against Marriage Act) does not. Edie was charged over $300,000 in inheritance taxes which any straight spouse would not have been charged. Edie, remarkable as ever, is fighting hard to overturn this with the help of the ACLU and to declare DOMA as unconstitutional. Today they had another victory in a Federal Appeals Court. All that's left is a ruling by the Supreme Court which is expected sometime after the November election.